The holidays are often seen as a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. But for some, they can also bring feelings of loss, loneliness, or even anxiety. Maybe the people who made the holidays special are no longer with you, or perhaps you’re facing your first holiday season without that “special someone.” And if you’re in recovery or simply trying to maintain a sober lifestyle, the season’s festivities can feel like a minefield, filled with alcohol, social pressures, and old family dynamics that can be triggering.
From the office holiday party to the endless gatherings with friends and family, the holidays often revolve around food, drink, and traditions—many of which involve alcohol. The perennial Champagne Toast on New Year’s Eve, the “walk with the cousins” before dinner, or even the familiar clinking of glasses at every party can create a feeling that sobriety is harder to maintain. However, despite these challenges, it’s important to continue prioritizing your recovery and well-being during the holidays.
Here are some ways to stay sober and enjoy the holiday season, no matter the circumstances:
1. Communicate Your Journey
One of the most powerful things you can do during the holidays is communicate openly with family and friends about your choice to stay sober. Use this time to share your recovery journey and invite others to support you.
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Set expectations: Let loved ones know that you plan to stay sober during the holidays. Politely ask that they refrain from drinking around you or discussing alcohol or drug use in your presence. In many cases, your family and friends will want to respect your wishes but may not know how to support you unless you communicate your needs.
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Be open about your boundaries: You don’t need to go into detail, but explaining that you’re working hard on your sobriety can encourage your loved ones to be more mindful of their behavior. Asking them to be discreet about alcohol can reduce potential discomfort.
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Stay connected: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, reach out to someone who understands what you’re going through—a fellow member of your support group, a close friend, or a family member who respects your journey. It’s important to know you’re not alone.
2. Plan Ahead and Set Boundaries
Preparation is key when it comes to staying sober during the holidays. The more you plan ahead, the more empowered you’ll feel when walking into social situations that might trigger old habits or uncomfortable feelings.
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Choose events wisely: If certain family gatherings or parties bring up old wounds or temptations, it may be best to decline those invitations. Focus on attending gatherings where the environment feels supportive and the focus is on connection rather than drinking.
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Set clear boundaries: If you’re attending events where alcohol will be present, it’s helpful to decide in advance how you’ll handle those situations. Will you stay for the entire event? Will you have a “get-out” plan in case the environment becomes too difficult to navigate?
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Bring your own drinks: Non-alcoholic options at parties can sometimes be limited, so it’s a good idea to bring your own mocktails or alcohol-free beverages. That way, you’ll always have something to enjoy and won’t feel pressured to drink alcohol just because it’s available.
3. Involve Yourself in the Planning
Taking an active role in planning holiday events can give you a sense of responsibility and ownership over the gathering. This can serve as both a distraction and a motivator to stay sober.
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Host or co-host an event: By taking charge of an aspect of the holiday celebration—whether it’s hosting a dinner, organizing a game night, or even arranging a gift exchange—you’re more likely to feel invested in showing up sober. You’ll also feel empowered and proud to contribute in a positive way.
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Repair relationships: If you’ve experienced strained relationships in the past due to addiction or past behavior, this is a great opportunity to rebuild trust. By being responsible and present, you can show your loved ones that you’re committed to maintaining your sobriety and strengthening your connections with them.
4. Connect with Others
Staying sober during the holidays is easier when you feel supported and connected to others who understand your journey. Social gatherings can sometimes feel overwhelming, but by focusing on connection rather than the pressure to drink, you’ll have a much more fulfilling experience.
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Bring a supportive friend: If you’re unsure about the environment you’ll be walking into, consider bringing a friend who understands your recovery. Having someone by your side who knows your journey can make a huge difference in how you feel and handle the situation.
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Focus on quality time: Instead of getting distracted by alcohol or old family dynamics, take the opportunity to connect meaningfully with the people around you. Ask questions about their lives, share positive stories, and keep the conversation focused on creating memories rather than focusing on what’s in everyone’s glass.
5. Maintain Your Routine
Sobriety requires consistency and commitment, and this is especially important during the holidays when stress and emotional triggers can make it harder to stay on track.
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Stick to your routine: If you’ve developed a routine that helps support your sobriety, such as attending regular support group meetings, exercising, or meditating, make sure to maintain it during the holiday season. Keeping up with your routine will help you stay grounded and keep the focus on your health and well-being.
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Prioritize self-care: Pay attention to your diet, sleep, and exercise. These are foundational to your mental and physical health, and maintaining them will make it easier to navigate holiday stress and temptation. The holidays can be a busy and stressful time, but taking care of yourself is non-negotiable if you’re going to stay sober.
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Attend support meetings: Even if the holidays get busy, make attending your regular meetings a priority. Whether it’s an in-person AA or NA meeting or an online recovery group, staying connected to your sober community can help you stay grounded and motivated. The support and wisdom from others who understand your struggles can provide much-needed encouragement.
6. Reframe Your Thoughts About the Holidays
The holidays can bring up feelings of loneliness or longing for those you’ve lost, or even sadness if you’re facing them without a partner. However, it’s important to reframe how you view the season.
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Create new traditions: The holidays don’t have to be a time for overindulgence or drinking. Consider starting new traditions that don’t revolve around alcohol. Volunteering, taking scenic walks, baking with loved ones, or starting a gratitude practice can help shift the focus to what really matters.
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Focus on gratitude and connection: While it’s normal to feel a sense of loss or sadness, the holidays also offer a chance to reflect on the things you have—your health, your recovery, your loved ones—and to appreciate the moments of joy that are still available to you.
Staying sober during the holidays may feel daunting, but it’s entirely possible with the right strategies, mindset, and support. The key is to plan ahead, set clear boundaries, communicate openly, and prioritize your well-being. By staying true to your recovery journey, you not only protect your sobriety but also open yourself up to new opportunities for connection, growth, and joy during the holiday season.
Remember, the holidays don’t need alcohol to be meaningful. You can enjoy every moment, create new traditions, and show up for yourself and others in ways that truly matter.